Feeding Baby Birds

A mother's work is never done. As universal truths go, that one seems to apply across the board. Not even birds can file for an extension. Imagine finding the mud and straw of a swallow’s nest clinging to the corner nook of the girder supporting the parking structure right above your assigned space. Like me, wouldn't you stop and look? The baby birds are just big enough to poke their heads over the edge of their nest; their baby bird mouths doing what baby bird mouths do.

“Feed me, Seymour!”

Their beaks gape and little, mewing bird noises are an unending chirp that ripples out like bawling from a baby monitor. From across the lot, Mom swoops down, darts under the roof, and almost faster than the eye can follow, she fills a hungry mouth. She doesn't land or perch - like a humming bird she hovers - there is no time to rest. She streaks away toward the swamp grass and cattails on the other side of the complex, hunting her baby's next mouthful. Moments later she’s back, thrusting her catch into another gaping baby beak. And so it goes, back and forth, again and again.

You can almost hear her sigh and exclaim, “What can you do? A mother’s work is never done.”

This is precisely the relationship each one of us has to the negative ideas and beliefs that clog up the container of our souls. Like baby birds, these bubbles of thought cry out, demanding that we feed them attention. And like baby birds, they are never full. So we swoop in and feed them, over and over again.

Baby birds will eventually mature, leave the nest and fly away to the nearest Starbucks for a latte. Unlike baby birds, a thought never grows up, never changes its story. Rather, it invites all its friends over, until you have a gaggle of yammering thoughts all spouting slight variations on the same sad story, all competing for the morsels out of your mouth.

It is worth considering the life cycle of a thought, which I will turn to in my next post. For now, the compelling picture of our little swallow friends is a powerful, visual reminder that we do not have to be the mother to our negative, self-limiting thoughts that cry out for feeding. We do not need to endlessly, frantically swoop back and forth, over and over to stuff their gaping beaks.

Instead,

 We can be the grouchy, terrifying lunch room lady glaring at these unruly thoughts over the counter and refusing to serve them. 

Well, maybe not grouchy and maybe not terrifying; but definitely steadfast in taking a stand against the kind of thoughts that undermine our well-being and esteem. Carl Weber calls these “Self-Referential” thoughts. We can also stand firm against negative, unhelpful, blame centered stories: The poor me's and how-dare-you's that pollute our minds with the slightest of provocations.  We can choose not to feed them and when we become aware of such a thought sneaking into our mind, we can stamp our foot, cross our arms and say,

“No!”

“Stop!”

Then we can fill that space with its opposite. We can find something joyful to acknowledge in its place. This shift changes everything. It transforms our relationships and our lives: a huge payoff. While it takes a lot of practice to watch your own thinking and banish the monkey madness that still enjoys flinging poo, it is worth the effort.

Give it a try. Decide that for this week, you will watch your thoughts. When a negative or hurtful, self-limiting or judgmental thought arises; the moment you become aware of it, you will just stop.

– STOP –

Then fondly, gently remind yourself: 
“Oh, there I go again. Silly monkey mind.” 
Then invite your higher mind, the reflection of the Divine within, to fill you with something positive and uplifting to replace whatever triggered your negative thought. For example, if someone makes you angry:  First, 
– STOP – 
Your anger arises from an evaluation, which is based upon an idea of how things should be, compared to how they actually are. An evaluation is just another thought; so when you catch yourself thinking it

 – STOP – 

Then find something about that person for which you are grateful. Then, if you choose to address the issue that triggered your anger reaction, you do so from a much more loving space. You maximize the possibility that your conflict partner will hear you and not react with instant defensiveness. This really pays off, and the odds are forever in your favor. All you have to do is watch your thoughts.

You can do it. What do you have to say to that? I invite you to comment below.

With Love and Aloha,

Holman